Saturday, 25 June 2016

7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success : Dayo's 7 keys to making your love last.

Happy Couple.
Source: Google Images
Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. Yet about 41% of marriages in Nigeria, 53% in the U.S., 48% in Canada, 47% in the U.K., and 43% in Australia end in divorce. What are some of the most important ideas when it comes to making your love last? Below are my seven keys to long-term relationship success.



1. Do You Trust Your Partner?

Trust is the first and perhaps most important predictor of long-term relational success. Without trust, none of the other six keys that follow will have much meaning. Ask yourself the following questions: In general, is your partner reliable and dependable? Can you count on your partner as the “rock” in your life? What about you for your partner?

For some, as I've heard from girls I dated in the past, trust is a complicated matter. Some people trust blindly, while others have trust issues. Evaluate your partner’s trustworthiness based not upon unproven promises or wishful thinking, but on a strong overall record of dependability.
Different people have different areas of concern, but almost everyone values trust and honesty from their partner above all. Why? Because your partner is the one person you want to be able to depend upon in the long-term, without question or doubt.

Little things where your significant other hasn’t been completely honest shouldn’t be blown out of proportion, because virtually everybody tells little white lies (especially when one is dating). Focus instead on the big things, like if they say they’re a lawyer and you discover they’ve never even passed the bar, or they say they like kids but later on insist on never having one.


2. Are You and Your Partner Compatible in the Dimensions of Intimacy?

Authors Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II identified four ways with which we can feel closely connected with our significant other. The four dimensions of intimacy are: Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Shared Activities. 
Here’s a quick exercise to check you and your partner's compatibility in intimacy. List the four dimensions as follows:
_______________________________________________________
                                  Partner A    Partner B
Physical
Emotional
Intellectual
Shared Activities
_______________________________________________________

Next to each dimension, rank whether this is a “Must” have, “Should” have, or “Could” have for you in your romantic relationship.
After answering for yourself, next ask your partner to rank, or on your own put down how you think your partner would prioritize. The more “must-must” and “must-should” combinations between you and your partner, the greater the possibility of an intimate relationship. Since relationships are not static, a couple may evolve in the dimensions of intimacy. Understanding one another’s priorities, and connecting in ways that are important to both partners help ensure long-term relational success.


3. What Type of Person Shows Up Within You in this Relationship?

Consider the friends in your life. Do different friends bring out different sides of you? Maybe you’re more reserved with one and more rambunctious with another. Perhaps you’re patient with some and quarrel with others. A friend may trigger your higher or lower tendencies. Just as a friend can elicit a particular side of you, so does your partner. Consider the following questions: Does my better self show up when I’m with my partner? Does my worse self show up when I’m with my partner? Perhaps it’s a combination of both? If so, what situations tend to bring out a particular side of me. Fundamentally, do I like myself in this relationship?
Your honest answers to these questions offer important clues to the long-term health and happiness of your relationship.


4. Does Your Partner’s Communication Lift You Up or Bring You Down?

Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, a foremost expert on couple studies, concluded after over twenty years of research that the single, best predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship.
Contempt, the opposite of respect, is often expressed via negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm regarding the worth of an individual. In communication studies, this is known as being “tough on the person, soft on the issue.” An effective communicator knows how to separate the person from the issue (or behavior), and be soft on the person and firm on the issue. An ineffective communicator will do the opposite – he or she will literally “get personal” by attacking the person, while minimizing or ignoring the issue.
Ask yourself the following: Does your partner’s communication lift you up, or bring you down? Is your partner’s communication with you “soft on the person, firm on the issue,” or the other way around? What about your communication with your partner? If your relationship suffers from ineffective communication, the good news is that as long as you and your partner are willing, improvements can be learned quickly and put to use immediately. 


5. How do You and Your Partner Deal with Conflict in the Relationship?

Couples with poor conflict resolution skills typically engage in Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors. They fight and stay mad, sometimes holding grudges for years. They flight and avoid important issues by sweeping them under the rug. Or, after endless arguments with no resolution in sight, they freeze emotionally and shut down. Someone who freezes in a relationship typically goes through the motions on the outside, but has stopped caring on the inside.
Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let it go. They focus on taking care of the issue rather than attacking the person. Even when angry, they find ways to be upset and stay close at the same time. Once the matter is resolved, they forgive and forget. Most importantly, successful couples have the ability to learn and grow through their interpersonal difficulties. Like fine wine, their relationship improves with age and gets better over time.


6. How do You and Your Partner Handle External Adversity and Crisis Together?

One of the traits of highly successful and enduring relationships is the partners’ ability to stand together in the face of external challenges. A true test of a relationship is whether two people have each others’ back when times are tough. 
Consider these questions:  Do external adversity and crisis bring you and your partner closer together, or pull you farther apart? In difficult life circumstances, do you and your partner act like adults or children? Can you and your partner share the bad times, or only enjoy the good times? As Adler and Proctor II state, “Companions who have endured physical challenges together… form a bond that can last a lifetime.”


7. Do You Have Compatible Financial Values?

Numerous studies have identified disagreements over finances as one of the top reasons couples seek marital counseling, as well as one of the top reasons for divorce. According to Jeffrey Dew of the National Marriage Project, “Couples who reported disagreeing about finances once a week were over 30 percent more likely to divorce over time than couples who reported disagreeing about finances a few times per month.”

Differences in financial values often appear early in a relationship (most especially in Lagos, Nigeria). For example, who pays for the first date? What about the second date? And the third? Is your partner happy when you give a thoughtful but non-monetary birthday gift, or will he or she feel disappointed because you didn't purchase something? Additional questions to consider include: Is your partner generally happy with what he or she owns, or is there a constant, insatiable desire to always acquire more? Are you and your partner able to solve financial difficulties and differences as a team?
Formulating with your partner a viable financial plan, paying attention to patterns of financial discontent, initiating conversations early to resolve differences, and seeking financial or couples counseling when needed are some of the keys to maintaining financial peace.



In closing, whether you’re single, dating, or in a committed relationship, these seven keys to long-term relationship success may serve as a “check-up” of your relational health and well-being. With self-honesty, openness, and a desire to grow, you can significantly increase the possibility of not only having a wonderful partner in life, but making the love last. To grow old with your life mate, knowing that in each other’s warm embrace you have found Home.

If you’re up for it and follow these tips, you’ll be on a road to having a more successful relationship or marriage. But remember — it takes two to tango. Share these with your significant other or spouse and use it as an opportunity to begin the conversation of your life.

Together Forever.
Source: Google Images

....as someone I know will say, "ALL THE BEST OOO".

Cheers!

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

CLIQIT Partners Cross River State To Host Record-Breaking Calabar International Trade Fair

With aim to position Calabar as a major trade hub and revive the Tinapa project, management of Tinapa Business Resort and CLIQIT, a business management/development company that runs an e-commerce platform, have signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) in Tinapa, Calabar in Cross-River State, to introduce a trade fair to the annual Calabar Carnival and Tinapa through a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV); the Calabar International Trade Fair (CITF).
CLIQIT/CITF CEO Mr. Gerald Konwea and Cross River State Commissioner of Finance/MD Tinapa Mr. Asuquo Ekpenyong at the signing of the MoU in Tinapa, Calabar.
Introducing the trade fair to the Calabar Carnival is expected to increase the Internally Generated Revenue (IGR) of the state up to 5 billion naira, introduce up to 15, 000 jobs and 10, 000 Small and Medium Scale Enterprises (SME’s) and empower people of Cross-River state with skill acquisition and go-to market strategies and ultimately contribute development of the state.
The Cross-River State Commissioner of Finance and Managing Director (MD) of Tinapa, Asuquo Ekpenyong, at the signing of the MoU, said that ‘where Tinapa is today is not the ideal when Tinapa was conceived’.
Mr. Ekpenyong, who has only been on the management of Tinapa for about a month said his team has identified most of the challenges that inhibited the full blossoming of Tinapa and are ready to tackle them.
“We have gone to the blueprints, we have identified those issues that prevented Tinapa from going where it should be and we are trying to tackle those issues with a fully detailed plan”.
“One of the ways we think we can do that is have an international trade fair, something that would be around the period when Cross-River would be at its peak in terms of travellers. That is the week of the Carnival in December”.
“We have chosen that date for obvious reasons in terms of the influx of people and Calabar which should be a major trade hub isn’t where it should be, so, we have partnered with Cliqit. They will be bringing their experience and capacity in driving trade traffic to Tinapa and we will provide the resources”.
The Tinapa MD, who also doubles as the state’s Commissioner of Finance asserted his faith in the success of the project, saying there is no infrastructural platform such as the Tinapa Business Resort in the whole of West Africa.
“This platform; Tinapa Business Resort has the capacity to host a lot of trade and businesses and we are trying to use this opportunity of the CITF to showcase the resources Tinapa has and I believe that come December 2016, we will put on a great show and something that will be worthy of repeat year-on-year”.
Gerald Konwea, founder/CEO of Cliqit, the brain behind the project, described the project as a history making venture which is why the Guinness World Records is involved.
“This is going to be arguably the biggest trade fair in the world. There are though big trade fairs in Germany with up to 7,000 vendors and there are even bigger trade fairs in China. Except the numbers are on Chinese websites, there are no numbers on Google or websites that reflect on Google to suggest otherwise.”
“To achieve this feat, we are partnering with the Guinness World Records to execute publicity internationally and prove the trade record we are trying to achieve.”
“We are partnering Red Media to handle our publicity locally and we hope to host the world as we have begun preliminary discussions with every other body and also on both State and Federal level to help us execute this project because this is a big project”.
According to statistics provided by Cliqit, the project is also expected to increase the IGR of the state significantly from N12.7 billion to N14.9 billion yearly by 2016 – 2019 and an additional N2 – 5 billion from 2020 onwards.
“This project will also provide gainful employment up to 7,000 and 15,000 by 2023. This can be achieved through skill acquisition programs, SME empowerment and support activities and instituting Calabar as a major trade hub in the region by reviving the Tinapa project”.
“Like I said, we are trying to host about 10,000 vendors with let us say at least one person to every vendor, or being modest, about 25,000 people and spectators expected to participate.”
The introduction of the project is coming at a time when there is much talk around the country about patronising made-in-Nigeria goods which Gerald said the trade fair would be hugely promoting.
“We are partnering with the organisers of the Made-in-Aba Trade Fair and we are looking to see a lot of Nigerian creativity in December 2016.”
The trade fair, expected to run from 20-31 December is the medium term plan of the project which the Commissioner further explained:
“We have phased out a plan on what we are doing with Tinapa. There is the short-term, which is the immediate for a period of one to three months, there is the medium-term, which is the trade fair and there is the long-term.
“Tinapa has components, there is the hotel, the shops, the games arcade, the water park and the studio. Each of these components are being reviewed. There are different phases and the trade fair is just a cut of the holistic picture and that picture will be revealed to the general public. It is a work-in-progress.”
In terms of security the commissioner said the present situation in the country doesn’t affect Calabar.
He said: “Calabar is one of the safest cities in Nigeria. We will be partnering with all the security agencies and with services from the Nigerian Police Force all the way to DSS to ensure that we provide the safe and secure environment for the hosting of this trade fair”.
Alongside the trade fair, a one kilometer red carpet will also play host to media bodies from around the world, journalists, celebrities and the government.
Follow @Calabar_ITF on Twitter for updates.
Trust us to keep you updated still!

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Dreams DO come true

Glad to be back after the short break. So many things have been going on in your favorite Naija boy's life. To God be the glory.

Something happened to me on the 23rd of January and this might be written in my biography some day. I'd want to keep my fingers crossed God willing it comes to light. All in all, I'd like to say NEVER say never. NEVER doubt yourself and dreams DO come true.

As always, God bless you and yours and may your dreams come true.

P.S: I won't be long gone 

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Its time to Turn Up for 17 year old Superstar SNIPPSY with "Oh My Baby" feat. ECO

Snipssy
Fast rising Abuja based artist Snippsy formally known as Ndifreke Ikpe Obong from Akwa Ibom State signed under KuddiBoi Music(KBM) at the age of 17. Released his latest single "Oh My Baby" featuring Eco and produced by Gospel on the beat and directed by super talented Patrick Ellis. The song is currently making waves in Abuja, Benin and Lagos.
Follow Snippsy and his team on Twitter @snippsy01 @flyboyeco @kudi_boi
For bookings: snippsyobong@yahoo.com
See his video below:



Press play and feel free to comment below.

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

D.O.P.E Boy Of The Week : Tolani Im Liciouz

C.E.O Liciouz Clothing showing off one of his amazing pieces
Here's the first D.O.P.E boy on here...
Introducing world famous Longe Tolani Afeez a.k.a Tolani, a.k.a Liciouz a.k.a Youngest Billionaire(haters gon hate..lol) a.k.a Madding Nigga.
He's a Computer Science graduate from the famous Igbinedion University. A vibrant chap who's got an eye for where the money is. Tolani is the C.E.O "Im Liciouz" clothing.
His hobbies include listening to dope songs, travelling, cooking (yea, its shocking I know right) , meeting people and fashion(looking DOPE is his major hobby).
Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @im_liciouz
Its his birthday... please show him some real love. #TurnUpForTolani
See more of his picture below...
'til another day....*God Loves Me*
Looking DOPE is his hobby
Tolani was taken to the cleaners by yours truly...Aha
Chap with an eye for where the money at.
Tolani brainstorming on the next best thing...As a BOSS!
Check out the previous D.O.P.E chic HERE

Thursday, 10 October 2013

D.O.P.E Chic of the day : Sandeeva

Her name is Cassandra Ebomuche a.k.a Sandeeva. She's a 400 Level Mass Communications student at the university of FIRST choice...UNILAG and hails from Imo state (state of winches). Her hobbies includes listening to good music, dancing, watching action movies and yea, messing with people's minds. She's also a very good writer, a video vixen and one model y'all need to be on the look out for. She's D.O.P.E like that. *winks*
Fun facts about Sandeeva: She loves working with her hands (massage and think whatever you want please :p )

You can follow Sandeeva on Twitter: @Ms_Sandeeva10, and chat on Skype: Sandeeva10

It's her birthday today so please show her some birthday love...as always.

See more photos of Sandeeva...

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

D.O.P.E Chic of the day: LAMI

Jennifer looking all gorgeous
Here's introducing our 1st D.O.P.E Chic on Dayo's Diary ...
Her name is Jennifer Chris a.k.a LAMI. A Mass Communications graduate from Nigeria's premiere private university Igbinedion University, Okada. She's from Edo State, hence the beauty plus brains. Her hobbies? She doesn't have one. (weirdo) She's a shoe freak and her dream holiday is in Paris...(guys take note)
Jennifer is an Entrepreneur. She's the C.E.O of LAMI Clothing(Google is your friend).
First time I met Jennifer: You really don't wanna know... I mean, I WAS STARING!!!
Today is her birthday so y'all show her some birthday love . Follow her on Twitter @janeyjil and on Instagram : JenniferLami
See more pictures of her after the cut...
Queen Jenny
LAMI's Cute smile

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Let's do D.O.P.E

What's good beautiful people... its your favorite Naija boy. So I will be bringing new stuffs on here. Hoping you'd like them. Amongst them will be Dayo's On Point and Extraordinary i.e D.O.P.E chics and guys...
I'll be profiling some of the D.O.P.E peeps in Naija and the world over.
STAY TUNED!
    'til another day...*God Loves Me*

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Friends WIth Benefits: Simplest Ways To Start


What's up beautiful people. Sorry for the no posts in a while. These after uni days are literally just mean to me. :(
Well, I'm here now...So let's roll!
Got something for some of us. (Some of us being the no-love, no-strings attached, #TeamFuckLove and #TeamSingle)

The ideal friends with benefits relationship will let you have fun and hook up with someone whenever you're both in the mood without getting emotionally invested. Though it can be very tricky to navigate the territory between friendship and courtship, if you follow a few basic rules, you can have a no-strings-attached relationship where no one gets hurt. If you want to know how to start one, just be cool and follow these steps.

1. Pick someone who is AVAILABLE.
This means "available" in all senses of the word -- single being the most obvious definition.
The person should not only be single, but he or she shouldn't be recovering from the end of a devastating break-up, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or so busy studying that he or she practically lives in the library. This person should be feeling fun, emotionally stable, and up for anything -- especially hooking up with you.

2.Pick someone who won't get too attached.
Friends with benefits relationships often end because one person starts falling for the other.
So, unless you want to date the person, or you don't care if the person gets really hurt, you should avoid someone who will get attached. How do you know who will get too attached and who won't? Well, you can't figure this out with 100% certainly, but there are a few clues that the person may get too attached:
*If you've heard this person described as
"clingy," (Ewww) whether it's by friends or past significant others, then you may have a problem.
*If the person doesn't have a lot of friends,
interests, or a lot going on, then he or she may have nothing better to do than to spend a lot of time with you.
*If you know that this person has really liked you in the past, then it's better to avoid it.
If you know the person has a harmless crush on you, then that's PERFECT. ;)

3. Pick someone you already like.
Key word --like,not really really like. This should be someone who you think is cute and fun to be around -- you should like this person just as much as you like spending a day at the beach with your friends. If you're going to spend a lot of time with that person, then you should feel a baseline of affection -- just nothing too serious.
*Pick someone you already like, but not someone you would normally date. Go out of your comfort zone and remember that you're looking for a hot hook up partner, not your future husband or wife. If you pick someone you might date, then it's more likely that you'd end up falling for that person.
*You should have some natural chemistry with this person. That doesn't mean you want to stay up for hours talking about the meaning of life with him -- you just want to rip his shirt off.

4. Pick someone outside your social or work circle. Don't have a friends with benefits relationship with one of the members of the group of friends you've known since you were five, or it'll lead to some serious awkwardness when the relationship ends. Typical friends with benefits relationships only last a few months, so don't pick someone you know you'll have to see all the time.

5. Pick someone with experience.
You should try to find someone who you know has had some experience hooking up -- even better if you've heard he or she is great in bed. Since that's what you'll be doing, it's good to have a sense that the person will deliver. It will also help if the person has had some casual flings before, so he or she is experienced in that department. If the person has only had one relationship and it lasted seven years, he may not be your best bet.

Start the Relationship

1. Flirt with the person.
Start flirting with the person by teasing,
playfully touching, or just paying attention to him or her. Let the person know you're interested and give him or her a few not-so-subtle complements. Don't forget!
You're not trying to be coy here -- you're looking for a hook-up buddy.

2.Start hooking up.
Once the person is interested, you can start
kissing or doing something more. Tell the person how attracted you are to him or her but do not complement that person's personality or say anything that makes it sound like you want to date.

3. Set the ground rules.
Every non-couple is different. Some friends with benefits know each other well enough to set some ground rules before they start hooking up. But that can feel a little awkward and unnatural, so you may want to wait until after that first kiss or hook-up session. Ideally, you should have the talk before sex, so you know that both people are on the same page and that no one gets really hurt.

Here are the things you should talk about:

*Make it clear that you are not dating -- you're just having fun. Both of you should be free to hook up with other people.
*Make sure that you won't see each other too often. You should see each other just two or three times a week, preferably at night. If you see each other almost every day, Mbok... guess what? That's dating. >_>
*Decide that you'll end the relationship when one person gets too attached. Unless you both start falling for each other, make it clear that if someone gets attached, it's over.

4. Enjoy some HOT sex.
That's what having friends with benefits is for, isn't it? Have fun hooking up with your "friend," letting loose, and trying the things you were too afraid to try with your old boyfriend or girlfriend. This is your time to let loose and experiment, picking up the tricks you can use to wow future partners. Have fun trying new poses, having sex in kinky locations, and just throwing
caution to the wind.

5. Keep up your communication.
As you ease in to your friends with benefits
relationship, don't forget to check in with the person you're hooking up with. Make sure you're both into each other, but not too much. If you'll both be at a party, talk about how you'll act. If you're also hooking up with another person, don't be shady about it. You don't have to spill your heart out, but you should keep talking so you know what's working and what isn't.

Keep Enjoying the Benefits

1. Don't forget to see other people.
Part of a no-strings-attached relationship means that you are free to see other people. Don't forget this important perk. If you're only hooking up with one person, it may turn into a real relationship. If that's not what you want, then keep a look out whenever you're out at a bar or a party. Don't just wait to get a text from your hook up buddy, but look around and see if there are any other options for you.

2. Keep it casual.
You can hang out with your friend with benefits, but you need to make it clear that it's not a date. For one thing, you should spend more time in bed together than out of it. You can go out for a drink -- but not for dinner. Try to make your
place as inhospitable as possible so your hook up buddy doesn't want to linger in the morning.

NOTE: I am NOT asking anyone to go sleeping around or be promiscuous. If you don't feel the need to be in a serious relationship for reasons best known to you, FWB isn't all that bad. Just play safe...Use a CONDOM!

So what do you think?

Feel free to drop your comments below.
Follow me on Twitter and IG @MaybachDAYO ;)

'til another day...*God Loves Me*

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Time Management Skill



"Success is a daily habit"




Time management skill - introduction

What have you done today to move you closer to your dreams? Are you expecting to wake up one morning and suddenly do everything to achieve your dream in just that one day?

Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” Success is a daily habit. It’s the little things you do everyday that will get you to your destination.


Time management skill - put first things first

Stephen Covey, in his inspiring and life changing book “the 7 habits of highly effective people” asks the question: “what one thing could you do (you are not doing now) that if you did on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life?”

It does not have to be a huge thing. Neither does it have to be something that requires a huge investment of time, energy or resources on your part. It just has to be something that you can do consistently.

You will discover that you will eventually be doing more of that one thing than you could have thought possible when you started. Over time, it will make a huge difference. Stephen Covey further adds that “it’s usually not the dramatic, the visible, the once-in-a-lifetime, up-by-the-bootstraps effort that brings enduring success. Empowerment comes from learning how to use this great endowment in the decisions we make everyday.”

He called this habit “putting first things first.” I like that name because often we do not put first things first. We put things which matter most at the mercy of things which matter least.

We subordinate our dreams for our jobs, our bosses, our friends, our parents and a whole lot of other people and activities. We should instead place our hopes and dreams as the most important thing everyday.

Time management skill - the time management matrix

One guide that will help you decide whether something should take up your time or not is the time management matrix. In this matrix, which may be drawn as a quadrant, there are basically four groups of activities. There are those things that are urgent and not important; those that are urgent and important; those that are not urgent and not important and those that are not urgent and important.

Most people spend their time doing things that are neither urgent nor important. One thing that immediately comes to mind is the person that spends every bit of his free time at the bar hanging out with the guys and just having a good time. I would not be very mistaken to say that such a person is not only drinking their income away, but also their dreams.

Television is another not urgent and not important activity which, unfortunately, most of us spend a lot of our most productive time on. It is amazing how television sets in most homes are perpetually on and people are fixed on them like zombies, watching everything that is dished out to them! TVs have invaded our lives and crippled our dreams.

Time management skill - do the important things

What we need to do is concentrate on the things that are most important. The hard part is that these are usually the things that are not urgent. Yet they are things that will make the biggest difference to our lives.

Why not turn off the television set tonight and read an inspiring book? Why not take a quiet moment to sit down and write down what you want to do with the rest of your life? Why not spend some time with your kids rather than with the guys at the bar? Why not take a few minutes to read the Bible or Quran today?

Time management skill - it ain't always fun

As you can see, the important things are usually not the most fun or exciting things to do. However, they must be done. There is a price to be paid for attaining greatness and at times that means doing things we don’t necessarily enjoy or want to do.

But you must do those things because you realize that your future depends on it. Think about this: if you only had to do the things that are fun and exciting at work would you get anything done? No. But you do it anyway, for the sake of that paycheck at the month-end. Why then, won’t you do the things that matter most for your own life?

Time management skill - conclusion

If you have not done anything today to get you closer to your dreams you are not a dreamer, you are a wisher. Wake up and do something about it or watch the dreamers take hold of their dreams, one little step each day.

In the words of Jim Rohn, “Motivation is what gets you started. Habits is what keeps you going,” Develop the habit of putting first things first today. Work on your dreams each and every day.

You are all you can be. Go on and be it!
....'til another day! *God Loves Me*

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Invest In Yourself

Invest in yourself – introduction

Are you busy looking for success everywhere except the one place you can truly find it? Does life seem like a futile chasing after the rainbow?

One possible reason for this could be that you are not looking for success in the right place. It is not in the environment around us or the circumstances we face that we find success, but in ourselves.

The simple fact is that if you are successful within, in your mind, you will be successful on the outside as well. It may seem too simple thing, but it is something we often forget when the pressures of life surround and overwhelm us. When it comes to making everyday choices it usually does not occur to us.

Like I have said before, your mind is your greatest asset. Like any asset, it needs to be built up and improved continually. Abraham Lincoln said he didn't “think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” He realized the basic truth that continuous improvement is necessary if one is to be truly successful.

Invest in yourself – knowledge is a huge asset

Knowledge is a powerful asset. It makes the difference between living in abundance and living in lack. The only difference between the managing director in a company and the maid in the same company is their knowledge. The MD knows something the maid doesn't. That is why he earns a hundred times more than she does.

It is what you know that will bring you success. It’s what you don’t know that will cause you to fail. Why then, do some get it so wrong? For example many people look for promotions without acquiring the necessary skills and knowledge they need to be promoted. Many business people are struggling because they just won’t take the time to learn about accounting, marketing and all that goes with doing business. That’s like trying to drive a car without first putting in the fuel.


Invest in yourself – the three percent rule

“Here is a rule that will guarantee your success – and possibly make you rich: Invest 3 percent of your income back into yourself.” That’s great advice from Brian Tracy. Investing in yourself can double or triple your income. It will work for you whether you are employed or in business.

James Attucher of the Financial Times agrees with this advice when he says “The only real way I know to triple your money is to invest in yourself.” He goes on to say that you should invest in your own ideas and your own business. But apart from that you should also invest in your mind.

Invest in yourself – ways to invest in you

There are many ways to invest in yourself. One way is to make it a habit to buy books regularly. Not just any books, of-course, but books that will challenge you and from which you can learn something. Biographies of other successful people, “how-to” books, self-improvement books and professional books such as accounting or public speaking books are examples.

Investing your time and money in learning things such as goal-setting, how to manage your time, how to be more confident and less doubtful, how to be a better speaker, how to adjust your thinking, create new habits and squash bad ones, how to take care of your health, how to focus and so can greatly improve your results in life.

These days books are not the only way to get knowledge, though. We have video, the internet, seminars and workshops on various subjects and even mentoring and coaching programmes. Even watching the right movies can sometimes teach you a thing or two. My favorite business programme, for example, is The Apprentice. It teaches a lot about entrepreneurship in an entertaining manner. Who would have thought that reality T.V could be so educational?

Invest in yourself – the value of self-education

The point is that you determine how and what you learn as well as how fast you learn. Self-education is important beyond the classroom. In the real world self-education matters a whole lot more than formal education. There are plenty of people with a formal education that are still struggling. Isaac Asimov fully supported this in saying that “Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.” A formal education is good, but only as a foundation. The sad part is that many are stuck at the foundation level. They don’t realize that in order to complete the building they need to invest in some self-education.

Therefore, do not be like them, who were referred to by James Allen as being “anxious to improve their own lives, but are unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound.” Dreamers realize that there is no better way to improve your life than to improve your mind. The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

Knowledge, then, is a powerful asset, and one which you should always be seeking to improve and build upon in the pursuit of your dreams. The Proverbs declare that “through wisdom is an house built; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

Invest in yourself – conclusion

Become addicted to continuous improvement and increase in your knowledge consistently and constantly. With time, you will inevitably become the person that you desire to be. Then you will no longer have to chase after success. Success will follow you. Your mind will become magnetized to attract success.

You are all you can be. Go on and be it.

.....'til another day. *God Loves Me*

Thursday, 12 September 2013

A Fortnight Without You





I should ink a huge tattoo of you on my wrist,
So I'd have a picture of you everywhere I go.

I should have an inscription of your name on every cherished belonging I own,
So I know that I always have you.

I should write our initials on that tiny space on my chest,right where my heart is,
So I'm reminded that we are one.

So that with every rise and fall of my chest,
I'm reminded that we have become one.

Your favourite song is my favourite too,
Your favourite colour mine too.
Although it seems like ages since you left,
I'm consoled by two wonderful facts;
That you love me just as I love you,
And that you'll be back again.

And then we'd continue
The long passionate kisses,
The safe feeling of your warm arms
around me in an embrace,
feeling like a 14 year old in love for the first time,
giggling and kissing,
cuddling and feeling.

I should paint a portrait of us,
wrapped in the comfort of each other
and I should pick the colours,
which truly describe us,
which truly describe our love.

I should think of you and make a scent,
I should count the stars,
and imagine them form your name.
I should stare at your picture as the sun sets,
and cry and miss you more.

I should play over and over again,
the song you love so much.
I should sit in your favourite armchair,
and let the tears flow freely
till I'm soaked and dripping.

I should stare at the window
from sunset to sunrise,
Waiting,
and waiting,
and waiting for you,
I should lay my head on my pillow
and meet you in my dreams.....



     Written By: Melba Ojugbana

Follow Melba on Twitter: @fabulousmelba 

Biko, just follow her oh, don't go and be calling her the cockroach in your locker, the sugar in your tea. Lol! 
Melba Ojugbana

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

What's up.....WASSAP???!!!

How are you guys doing? Its been a while...(I know right). Haven't been on my laptop for a while. Reasons best known to the laptop and its crazy self.
I'll be putting up some amazing poems and essays from weird but interesting friends I have. One thing I noticed, we now tend to have more readers of books and essays than we used to. Which is very encouraging if you ask me. I'll like you guys to show your support as usual, feel free to read them and comment. Not forgetting, sharing this blog with your friends only makes it more fun.
Thanks to you guys, I'm getting closer to my dreams. Your calls, messages and tweets are always appreciated. ☺
...'til another day. *God Loves Me*
     Follow me on Twitter/Instagram: @MaybachDAYO

Saturday, 7 September 2013

DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND – EPISODE 1 ( by @IAm_Tomi )

First rule of a Monday morning, especially when you stay in Lagos, ‘DON'T WAKE UP LATE!’ Tola Matthews had never fallen short of this rule, except for today. She brushed her leg against the side table as she made for the front door. I giggled. Tola stopped to eyeball me. She rolled her eyes. “Kimberly, the only reason I am not going to talk back at you is that I feel pity for you.” she started. Tola had a knack for showing off her status as Broker. “You don’t have a job. All you do is sit and watch TV, I have no problems with that, but don’t you think you should look for a real job that takes you out early?” she said looking at the wall clock. She smiled at me. It had mock written all over it.
I snickered. “You are not happy. And the money in the Firm isn’t yours, you work for Mr. Asolo. One day, they’ll take that Range Rover back.” I replied, with a grin.
“I bought that with my money!” she hissed and stepped out. I wasn’t done yet. “Kentucky on your way back, please.”
“Did I hear you right?” Tola replied, tucking her head back in. I smiled. “You are a salary earner, aren’t you?” I focused my attention back on the Flat screen. It is a big deal when you have nothing to do in Lagos. I am Kimberly Bankole, popularly called Kim Banks by my friends, graduated with a First Class from the prestigious University of Lagos with a degree in Economics. So much for my First Class Degree! I had sought to live on my own and when my best friends, Tola and Ini presented the opportunity I jumped at it.
Tola works in the Real Estate Business and due to her hard work, she was gaining heights every day, and she currently occupies a top position in Asolo Real Estate Firm. Tola paid her way through the University as she lost her father quite early. She indulged in business all through her stay on the Campus, and coupled with the monthly bursaries from the Government, she could fend for her academics.
Ini Obong is a model. She recently just got
herself a billboard job for beauty soap. Ini
worked when the opportunity arose, and she
earned fat for it. Her career was fast rising and her manager, Marcus, worked tirelessly to get her jobs. Ini cherished her beauty sleep and she was still having it. But with Kimberly in the house, who would get a beauty sleep?
I drew the curtains and let the sun rays in.
“Wake up!” Ini rolled over and covered her face with the pillow. “Ini, it’s almost 9 in the morning. The roads would be free, why are you still in bed?”
Ini snarled. “I don’t have to look for Jobs, they hunt me! Now get out of here.” She said, punching the pillow.
“Really, Ini? You should be awake.” I said, pulling the duvet.
Ini punched her pillow heavily and sat up. “I need my beauty sleep!” she emphasized. “The party lasted late into the night and I am tired. You should be the one on the road, go get a job.”
I shot at her. “How many times do I have to tell you that I have a job? I am a freelance writer!” Ini chuckled. “Ah…yes, I remember, whatever that is, honey.” She said, and slumped back to bed. I rolled my eyes and left for the kitchen. I work as a freelance writer from home, I write articles on the internet and if a column job comes by, my friend, Ben passes it to me, Although, I haven’t gotten any yet. I have his promises to cling on to. I am from a popular Lagos family. I am Professor and Professor Mrs. Bankole’s only child. Wondering why I am not gainfully employed? I turned down several opportunities to work for my Father and his well established friends. Economics had never really been my dream; I lived it for my Parents who are successful Economists. After my first degree, I hurried out of the house so I could chase my dreams, to be a writer. “How many successful writers can you find in this country?” Professor Bankole had shouted at me when I stood before him with my bags.
I sighed. “Dad…there is Wole Soyinka and recently, Adichie. Dad, I can do this.” “They are few, scanty and insignificant! I would give credit to Wole Soyinka and a few others, but the field is meaningless, you would be broke!” I took a deep breath. “Dad, please. I am tired of Economics. I don’t want to work in that Firm.” It had never been easy being Professor Bankole’s daughter, your life is all typed out like one of his Economics textbooks.
Mother knelt down before her husband. “Tunji please let her go.” She begged. She is my silent advocate.
“What are you saying, woman? Kimberly is about to bring shame to our family. She is only 21, what does she know about wanting to live on her own? She even wants to be a writer, this is ridiculous!” he said, tapping his legs.
Wura Bankole nodded. “I know how you feel,
Tunji. But, we have to let this girl try, who
knows? Please…” she begged. Men and their egos!
I had to join mother on her knees.
“Listen to me, young woman. I give you a year to make a nuisance of yourself in that field called ‘Writing’ after which, if you fail,” he shrugged.
“Of course, when you fail, you are coming back home and would work in the Firm.”
I stared at him as he spoke. He couldn’t see any light at the end of my tunnel.
“And one more thing, I don’t have to remind you about not liking any man, you already have David Coker.” He said sternly.
I nodded. “Dad, you don’t have to remind me. I have heard this all my life! I went through
University without any man, so you have nothing to be scared of, I would become David Coker’s wife when he chooses.” I replied, spitefully. “Young lady! Show some respect!” he shouted. I scoffed. “Of course Dad. I am the only one who is not allowed to fall in love freely because David Coker would marry me. Do you even care to know the last time David Coker and I spoke?” Dad sipped his drink. “Two months ago Dad, two months!” I argued.
He placed his glass on the table. “David is a busy man. He is doing all that for you, he has to manage his father’s business and it’s all over the world. He would be back soon.”
I leaned against the sink and waited for the
Kettle to whistle. I made a hot cup of coffee.
“Please make me a cup too.” Ini said, as she took her seat. I smiled. “You are finally up. Of course, I would make you coffee, I am good for something after all.” Ini scoffed. “Oh…sweetheart, Hasn’t ‘Ben Ten’ called you today?” I smiled. “Oh, he hasn’t. I think that guy is cute.” I stared at her. “Oh…I get it; you are not allowed to love.” I handed her the cup of coffee. “Thank you, sweetheart.” Ini sipped her mug carefully. “Kim, really, don’t you think Prof. Bankole is pushing you?”
“It’s for my own good.” I replied, taking a seat. “It has always been for my good.”
Ini scoffed. “What good? Right from when we were at High school, your old man has always been on your neck with this issue, David Coker this… David Coker that. Wake up, girlfriend, David won’t marry you.”
“Ini, he will.” I replied. “Dad said so.” I said
softly. Ini laughed with so much mockery in it. “Honey, I have always liked you since high school, I mean you were my school daughter, so I would tell you this, David won’t marry you. You guys barely speak.” Seeing my expression she tried cheering me up. “I don’t know how things run with you guys from wealthy homes, but maybe because my folks were broke while I was growing, they won’t dare betroth me, I mean it’s so outdated.” She said. “And to think your parents are professors.” She murmured. I snickered. “You can say that again.” I stared at the kitchen sink. “We’ve got to fix that pipe, the one beneath the sink.” Ini nodded and dropped her mug in the sink. “Ini, you are so going to wash that.”
Ini stuck her tongue out. “Marcus is waiting.” She said, and left for her room. Ini had the habit of leaving the dishes. “Who would marry you?” I shouted.
“Someone who isn’t DAVID COKER.” she called back, laughing. I smiled.
That was the daily routine. Since I have nothing real to do, I just sit by my Apple laptop all day and write down articles, short stories and poems.
I would also get the groceries and stock every corner of the house. If Ben called, I would say hi to him at the Office, else I would see Mom at home, but I had to call first. Dad didn’t want to see me.
“Hi, Mom.” I said, as I turned on the Television.
Wura Bankole closed the door to her study.
“Hey…I told you never to call in the mornings.”
She whispered. “Your Dad is still home.”
“I had no idea I had to sneak around to say hi to my mom because of I am on some sort of probation by the Almighty Professor Bankole. Mom, I just want to say hi.” I replied, turning off the TV. Mrs. Bankole sighed and took her seat. “It’s not like that, Kim. You know how your father is. Anyway, how is it out there?”
“Mom, it’s rough. Getting a Job is hard. But I am coping fine.”
Mother sighed “Just come back home, Kim. You can work in the Firm and still get jobs as a writer; I would talk to some friends.”
I rolled her eyes. “Mother, you know the terms. Dad has to see that I can make it without your help. Thanks Mom.”
“Have you heard from David this month?” Wura Bankole asked, changing the topic. Still not a friendly topic!
I chuckled. “Not at all. He didn’t even reply my mails, he must be really busy.” Mom laughed on the other end. “Do you regret being married off to Dad?” There was a deep silence from the other end. “Mom?” I called . Silence means affirmation!
“Not at all, Honey. He provides me with
everything I want and need. The society loves us, we are happy.”
I scoffed. “Mom…”
“Oh…Kim, I have to go now. I have a presentation in about an hour.” She replied and hung up.
I nodded as I held my phone to my chest. “Yes mom…‘you always have’ to go, you are not happy, yet you think it’s what best for me. David Coker would provide everything I want and need, I would be happy.”
Tola picked up the receiver. “Yes…”
“You are needed at the Boardroom now, ma’am.” Kemi said. Kemi is Tola’s secretary.
Tola closed her laptop and wore her blazer. She stepped out elegantly as ever and flashed at Kemi. “Take down any message.” She said, as she walked briskly. As a manager, Tola Matthews had a lot on her hand. She had to be up and doing, she had never relented.
She opened the door to the boardroom. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen.” she said as she walked into the empty Board room. She stared at the empty seats and chairs. What prank was Kemi playing? She turned to walk away.
“Not yet, Ms. Matthews.”
She turned round to see one of her clients, their biggest client. “How did you get here?” she asked and stopped. “Of course, you are Wole Briggs, where can’t you be?”
He nodded. “That’s correct. I am Wole Briggs, I can open any door. Please have lunch with me.”
“Money isn’t everything you know.” She started.
“It is a shame that some people allow themselves to be bought as to let you into this place.” She stopped and stared at him. “Get out before I call security on you.”
He scoffed. “Really, Tola? I am just trying to be friends with you.”
“Friends? I would say you are stalking me. That thing you did with my tyre the last time I came to your office, I still remember. If only I found out earlier that it was you who had pricked it, I would have had you picked up for acting like a street urchin.”
Wole Briggs laughed. “Tola, come on. Did you
think the Police would come as close as touching my hand not to talk of cuffing it?” He smiled revealing his perfect set of teeth. “I just want to be friends with you.”
“The answer is No. now get out, Wole.” She said, sternly.
He nodded. “Of course, as you wish. But I would be back. I don’t give up.” He said and walked past her. He stopped and stared at her. “Loosen up a bit, you work too hard.” He said as he undid her top button.
She smacked his hand. He smiled and walked out. “Stupid pervert!”
Tola returned to her office. “Who put the call
across for me at the Board room?” she asked. “It was Mr. Asolo, ma.”
Tola smiled. “Of course. Thank you.” she replied and walked into her office.
“It’s really competitive out there for the
billboard jobs.” Marcus said as he gave Ini a
massage.
Ini took off her earphones. “Marcus, I am hot
and beautiful. It is not competitive for me. See, I just won a billboard job.” She flashed a smile.
He smiled. “I admire your confidence, but
remember Shola Jones beat you to the last job.”
“That’s because she slept with all the men in that agency.” She replied, with a grimace.
“Disgusting.” Marcus smiled. “And you went ahead to put that on twitter. Ini, the men in the Agency are not our friends thanks to that.”
“But I have fans. At least they know that some models are modest.” She said, flipping her head over her shoulder.
“And loud mouthed.” He added, quickly. Ini
grinned. “But really Ini, you have to take this job really serious, I pulled some strings to get you this billboard and I hope you don’t mess it up.” Ini snarled. “What could possibly go wrong, Marcus?” she whined. “You are scared for nothing, just relax. You know I think we should go to the Spa, I am tired of your rough hand, and I need a real massage.” She said, rising to her feet. “You should also get a massage. You worry too much, Marcus.” She said, and left for the bathroom.
Marcus sighed. “Of course, I have to. You are my source of livelihood. As long as you work, I won’t be broke. I have a responsibility.”
“I heard you, Marcus.” Ini shouted from the
bathroom. Marcus smiled. “As always.”
“Thank you for having lunch with me.” Ben said, as he stared at me.
Ben fell into deep thoughts. Kimberly, an epitome of beauty, was definitely any man’s desire. She was simple, brilliant and beautiful. Ben had admired her from the first day she walked into Millaroca looking for a job. She had greeted everyone respectfully. Ben had faked being the boss and stepped up to her. “Hey, what do you want here?” he asked, staring at her eyes. “Sir, I would love to apply for a job.” She replied. Ben smiled. “Erm…we are totally occupied here. So many staffs and we won’t be needing another. But you can drop your CV behind.” he said, pointing at the attendant.
“Ben…Ben…” He turned around swiftly. “The Boss is here.” He flashed a smile at Kimberly. “You would meet the Boss soon.” He said, and dashed out through the back door.
Millaroca Magazine is about 30 years but was now gradually being edged aside in the country. It was mostly purchased by the ‘older generation’ as it used to appeal to them, but they soon lost interest. The Magazine needed a push to come back to the forefront in the country, but the competition really was stiff.
I raised her head. “So, you said you wanted to see me.”
“It’s just for lunch.” He replied, with a smile. My face fell. “How’s the job hunt?” he asked. I shrugged. “Nothing has changed. They all said they would call back, and no one has. Isn’t there any column job at Millaroca? I would take stipends.”
He held my hand. “It’s not about stipends; there are so many old brains at Millaroca. And to be honest, the boss is not willing to change his ideas, he believes in classic and from our survey it turns out the classic women don’t even want classic again.” He said.
I smiled. “Maybe they would pass it on to their kids when they stop liking classic.”
“Kim, I would keep trying to get you a chance to write. You just have to be patient with me.” he said, and sipped his coke.
I nodded. “Of course Ben, It’s not like I have too many options.” I replied. And truthfully, time was also running out!
“So, I thought I could take you out this
Thursday.” He asked.
I raised one eyebrow. “Thursday, erm…I think I would be busy…maybe I should…”
“Kim Banks, you are never busy. You don’t want me to rub it in that you have no real job.” I frowned. “Okay, I am sorry, but it’s Valentine’s Day. I thought we could hang out when I close from work.” I rolled my eyes. “Really? Ben, you don’t think I would fall for you, do you?”
He smiled. “A man must always try. I don’t give up.”
“Start learning to. Anyway, where are we going to?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Let me keep that a secret.”
“Secret? I don’t like secrets. Maybe you are a serial killer. Are you?” I asked, pointing my Fork at him. We laughed.
He raised his hand. “Okay, I meant surprise.”
Ben had many qualities that any lady would fall for, but remember, I am ‘married to David Coker’, although Ben doesn’t really strike me as that man. I’d rather remain friends. “So, are we gonna have Thursday?” he asked, with a smile.
It wasn’t as if I had anything doing, and of
course, I didn’t want Ini and Tola throwing their day in my face. “Of course.” I replied, with a smile. Ini and Tola never spared me of their Valentine day’s gifts throughout our high school and university days. It wasn’t as if I didn’t get gifts, but they were from ‘Anonymous’ guys. I didn’t bother to keep them.
“It won’t be at one of the expensive places that you might be used to.” He continued. I stared at him. Who cared about money? My Parents were the wealthy ones, not me!
I nodded. “Ben, I am penniless, why would I
mind?”
“You are Professor Bankole’s daughter, aren’t you? Sometimes I wonder why you are job hunting, he could just hook you.”
I stared at him. I had never told him about my family background. “How do you know about my father?”
“I am a huge fan of Professor Bankole. I love his guts and everything about him, so I know
everything about him.” He straightened in his seat. “That is of course, as far as Wikipedia would tell me. And the journals too.” He said, flashing his teeth at me. “But I won’t mind an extra lecture; I would love to meet him.”
I blinked. He smiled. “So, would you help me?” “I would think about it.” I replied, and tried to finish up my food.
Marcus fumbled with his I-pad for a while; he stared at Ini who looked rather too calm for their current situation. Well, he hadn’t told her the bad news yet. He had to! “Ini, we have a situation.” Marcus said, scrolling through his I- Pad. She adjusted her bathrobe. “You worry too much, Marcus. What could it be this time?”
He took a deep breath. “I just received a mail
from the advert agency. They want to revoke
your contract.”
Ini nodded. “For the billboard, right?” she asked. “Yes. My sources tell me that Shola Jones is behind it.” She smiled. “Of course, that skanky little thing has to be. She is trying to take her revenge on me after the twitter saga.”
“What are we going to do?” Marcus asked.
Ini scoffed. “I should be asking you that. It turns out; I am even tougher than you are. Shola Jones would walk into our trap; her skin needs a little adjustment.” She said, with a grin. “Ini…we could hurt her career.”
She nodded in agreement. “She struck the
match; she’s bound to feel the flame.”
Marcus sighed. This is not the first time Ini had fought Shola Jones back and when they did, it was really messy. Both of them never really got along well. The Fashion industry was fast rising and Models were out at each other. It was a matter of who would take the lead, and as far as Lagos was represented, the battle line was between Ini Obong and Shola Jones.

Culled from http://tommyslav-
island.blogspot.com